The Zicam (R) Diaries

I threaten my students with minus 200 points if they get me sick. It never works. I always get a cold. It happened again on Thursday. I woke up around 4 or 5 am with a tell-tale scratch in my throat. I tried to pretend it was nothing (didn't even look at the clock), but when the alarm went off at 5:30, I knew what it was.

Five-thirty am isn't a great time to get a sub, so I sucked it up and got ready for school. On the way out the door at 7am, I took a Zicam tablet left over from the previous cold. I survived the day with Zicam and Ricola (I had a stash in my desk at work, too).

That evening, I hunkered down with some left-over ice cream and called it good.

Friday was another dilemma. I could certifiably take a sick day -- but then I'd miss Multicultural Day. I had (vocally) been looking forward to Multicultural Day for two weeks. It's an extended lunch (80 minutes) and the school groups come out and sell food. I was all ready for an enchilada plate, and tacos, and tamales, and lumpia. So, I kept up the Zicam routine, suffered through my prep, faked it through 4th, ate my way through lunch, and told the kids to not make me mad during 6th or I'd really let them have it when I got better. Fortunately, it's a small class, and they're essentially good kids, so we made it through the day.

By Saturday, the sore throat had turned to full-on cold, or had it? The sore throat was gone. My head was starting to feel fuzzy. I was definitely feeling some ick. So, I sat on the couch with tea and Zicam (every three hours), and a book, and my true love, HBO. At night, just to be on the safe side, I had a little of grandma's cold remedy -- for the late-night cough.

On Sunday, I started off with the Zicam. The cold seemed to be moving to my sinuses -- finally. Maybe? Three weeks worth of laundry later, and I didn't need any of the Puffs Plus I'd purchased just for this cold.

Today, I was even smiling at school. You're supposed to take Zicam for 48 hours longer than you have symptoms. I'm not sure if that means today is my 48 hours, or tomorrow. I'm going to go with tomorrow just to be safe. But seriously, people -- a four day cold? That does not happen, and it certainly doesn't happen to me. When I get a cold, I get a cold. I get a 4-week death rattle. I get sinus infections. I get months of snot running out of nose.

And I'm going to buy a case of this stuff. I've tried most (if not all) of the magical cold remedies. This one actually works. (But you do have to take it immediately and consistently, or nothing doing.)

Two out of Three Ain't Bad?

Have I mentioned before how much I am annoyed by "mentors" who don't listen to what I say?

It happened again today: I was sitting at a meeting and I'm supposed to be sharing my thoughts and ideas with my mentor in a collegial setting to help improve my practice. I can't get three words out of my mouth about the project I had them design that I need to hang... Oh, NO! Make THEM do it. And then he goes on about whatever else. I wasn't listening because I was so hurt that what I said just got stomped on. I'm sorry, but the point is not that I need to hang it up, or they need to use the push-pin, or my TA needs to use the push-pin, but that I had them work in groups to develop a cover for the chapters which they then presented to the class who voted on the best posters. Not that he ever stopped to listen to the actual pedagogy, but just jumped all over who was doing the hanging. (The real problem is they didn't put their names on them, so I can't assign grades -- not that he ever heard that.)

He did the same thing when I said I don't usually hang their writing on the walls because they often write private things. OH NO! Writing is meant to be read! Yes, and I read it, but I ask them to write about what they know. And these kids know pain. Later on, when I explained to the whole group (while they listened) about my favorite genre, the narrative, and how I get a lot of disclosure from them about their problems, he started to listen. I think. I was so angry and frustrated by then, I really didn't care.

I know I'm not a veteran teacher, but I do have 2+ years experience and an M.Ed. I think I have something valuable to add to a conversation and maybe even something to teach my mentor.

Last week, my first mentor emailed me that I had ruined him for interns. Skip over the flutter of pride and excitement I felt at his compliment, and consider this: one of the first things he said to me (It was on our first or second day together) was that he loved having interns because they always taught him something and improved his practice. My other two mentors have never said any such thing to me; they try to teach me without stopping to learn.

I have certainly been ruined for mentors, because two out of three are bad.

Totally Random Book I Want to Read

I changed my NPR station this evening because I'm mad at my usual one for its schedule changes. They stop All Things Considered at 5:30 now, then hit up Marketplace, and the do up something annoying like The World. Hello! I drive home at 6:30 at night and I want to hear the stinkin' news!

So, I changed to the other one, which has the same annoying schedule, but at least it airs Fresh Air from 6-7. It's not perfect, but I can live with Fresh Air.

Today, Terry Gross is interviewing a woman who wrote a book about the woman whose cancerous cells were the first cultured human cells. She was a poor, black woman who had her cells harvested without her knowledge and consent. Since then, her cells have been used in thousands of scientific experients: really important scientific experiments like the polio vaccine. Companies have made millions off of her cells, and her family has seen nothing. In fact, the family didn't even know her cells were in use for 25 years (or so).

It sounds absolutely amazing. I'm mostly writing this so I have a place I can back and look and remember the title.

So, pick up the The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lax by Rebecca Sclute. (Not sure about the spelling of the last name. I'll try to look it up soon, but it's dinnertime right now. (Notice, I was driving home from work at 6:30.)

(As a side note, the music review is about big star, who I love. A friend of mine introduced me to this 70s rock band that experienced no fame during their lifetime, but now have a cult following. Awesome.)

It's You or the Kids

I should be grading right now, instead, I am blogging on my phone at the Starbucks. Yes, I know, Starbucks. This town has three more independent coffee shops than bookstores, which means it has three independent coffee shops. But I got a gift certificate to Starbucks fromschjoll, so I'm drinking a free 16 oz. decaf, 2-pump, vanilla latte with whole milk. I feel bad for the guy when he has to repeat that back to me.

Anyhoo, I've been trying to drill parallelism into my kids' heads recently, with limited success. We covered it during rhetorical devices (notice I said "covered" and not "learned" because it's clear they didn't learn it ). But it's a big part if the state tests, not to mention good grammar. So we're doing it again-- the standarized test question way.

Everytime I go over a sentence that has items in a series that are not parallel, I start singing the Sesame Street song "three of these things are not like the other, three of these things are kind of the same..." to myself. I'm imagining a lesson with sentences cut into strips and they have to make them parallel whole I play the song in the background. Or something.

I find myself scouring our books for parallel constructions. Of course, I feel so harried by everything else, that nothing gas cone of this plan--yet. Yet. I guess my ultimate point is that I'm starting to feel like a real English teacher. I guess if you play one on TV long enough, it's bound to happenn.

More of The Wire

I've had lots of stuff floating around my head, but not enough time, determination, or focus to share. Oh well. One of these days. So here's just a brief moment of hilarity from today.

This makes more sense if you watch The Wire and/or are familiar with common drug-dealing slang. What you need to understand is "re-up".

I had my students build daybooks today. Oh yes, they now have all the assignments (minus only one essay) that we'll be working on for the next 5 weeks. :-D For the daybook, you pick up the papers and some construction paper (for covers) and staple it all together into a book. I have two staplers, but first block stood there like, well, morons waiting for one stapler when the other ran out of staples. After a few minutes of students standing around like bumps on logs, I asked what was up. I was a bit exasperated that I had to tell them to bring me the stapler for more staples. I told my other classes not to stand around if they ran out of staples.

One of my students in 3rd block is disengaged from school in a MAJOR way (he is about 2 1/2 years behind in credits -- yup, that means he's failed almost every class in high school); this is a hint that he has larger issues outside of school, like possible gang affiliation. He comes to school because he has to in order to keep his PO off his back, not because he has any desire to actually graduate. Sure enough, 3rd ran out of staples and he walked up to me with the stapler and says, "Hey, Ms. X*, I need a re-up."

It was so awesome. I laughed. I've got him asking for a re-up of staples. I live in The Wire. Sometimes, it's even funny.


*Names have been changed to protect, well, me.

I Scream

I stopped one of my students at the end of class today, because she never took the final before going to Mexico in December. As a result, she failed first semester. She looked at me with amazement that she had forgotten to take the final (no, she's not the most attentive student). However, her grade isn't so bad, so if she can pull off a 50% on the final, she will pass the class. I told her all of this.

While I was telling her this, she pulled a bottle of something out of her bag and gave it to me a little sheepishly. She said she brought it back for me from Mexico. She's not sure what it is in English, but it's really good. A couple of other students standing around the doorway agreed with her emphatically. One told me it was really good on toast. I looked at the jar of cafe con leche colored, creamy substance and realized she had handed me a jar of real caramel. Not fake, chemical caramel, but real, milk-cooked-down-until-it's-thick-sweet-and-delicious caramel.

I think I need some ice cream!

I Need to Practice

There's this old joke about Microsoft.

Q: How do you fix a bug in Windows?
A: Document it and call it a feature!

The same thing is true of teaching. How do you get the kids to do work the day after a break? Document the talking and call it a lesson plan!

I discovered this little trick thanks to the genius of my mentor teacher. I give them a scavenger hunt about who did what over winter break. The questions start pretty easy (who went out of town, who saw a movie) and get more difficult (who read a book, who wrote a story). After they find people and talk out their break, you hold a class discussion and move from what they did to curriculum. (The final questions should tie in directly with whatever you have been or will cover in class.)

So, I get to the "who wrote a story, poem, letter, or email over break" question. One student raises her hand and says that Michael wrote a story (we'll say his name is Michael, it's a popular boy's name). There are two Michaels in the class, so one says, "Which one?" in a rather accusatory voice. I said, "Well, did you?" "No," comes back the emphatic reply.

I look to the other Michael and he says, a bit sheepishly, "Yeah, it was me."

The classroom waited in silent anticipation for his explanation.

"Well," the second Michael begins rather quietly, "I read that you can make a lot of money by writing a book." He continued with a hint of defiance, "So, I figured I should get some practice writing a story."

Now that was a good day in English class.