He's Just Not That Into You

I know, I haven't seen a movie in a full-price movie theater in I don't know how long (seriously -- it was sometime in Portland, but even there I tend to go to the 2nd run theaters because although it still costs $20, it comes with beer and pizza), and I've now seen two movies this weekend. Blockbusters, both. What is the world coming to? Oh yeah: friends.

Anyway, my good friend Shells said that it was the story of her life. MDTS said he'd heard that it was all Hollywooded up and not as in-your-face as the book.

So let me say that I read the book. I doubted it at first, but it changed my life. The book is not rocket science -- far from it. It says everything that you already know, but it spells it out in a very clear, forthright, incontrovertible way. If he doesn't call... he's just not that into you. If he's still with his wife... he's just not that into you. If he doesn't want to marry you... he's just not that into you. If he's messed up emotionally... he's just not that into you. Greg (yeah, we're on a first-name basis) says that if a guy wants to be with you, he will do whatever crazy thing he has to to be with you. He will knock on doors; ask everyone he knows for your number, divorce his wife, go to counseling... anything. If he does't, well... he's just not that into you. It doesn't mean he's not into you at all, or that he doesn't like you, or find you attractive, it's just that he's not *that* into you. Period.

It's actually a very freeing concept. I realized the man that I hadn't been dating for five years wasn't that into me. It had been staring me in the face for 4 1/2 of those years, but there it was. If I was still unsure about his feelings, than he wasn't that into me. I emailed him that night and broke it off. (What? After 4 1/2 years of batting me around, yes, an email is all he got. We could've talked all night, but that wouldn't have gotten us anywhere.) I have not initiated conversation with him since. (He's emailed a few times. I finally told him -- again -- to stop it. Forever.)

So, is the movie brutally honest? Well, yes and no.

The thing is, the book is written by Greg and this other chick, Liz. She plays the role of the chick (duh), the "But what about..." and "I'm sure he just..." and "Maybe this time it will be different because...". So the book has this other voice, the voice that we hear all the time. The voice that gets our hopes up; the voice that has seen The Princess Bride, When Harry Met Sally, and every movie with Rock Hudson and Doris Day. So we hear those women's voices in the movie. But we do hear that he's just not that into us. And we see it -- which can be far more powerful than the words themselves. It becomes obvious when you see it played out for your viewing pleasure.

It's a good movie. It's well done. The characters have some depth. There is romance and there are break-ups. There are rules and there are exceptions. (Which is what does us ladies in all the time, we hear about exceptions and expect them. The thing is, when you are the exception -- you know it. Otherwise, you're the rule. You're the rule early, and you're the rule often.)

If you need a good chick flick that won't make you cry: see it. If you need some help to dump your man: see it. If you just want to see what all the fuss is about: see it. It's not an Oscar-winner (er, I don't pay attention -- please tell me it hasn't been nominated); it's not classic cinema. But it's a good movie. And the final song is "Fridays I'm in Love" by the Cure. I love that song. It reminds me of sophomore year -- and yet another man who just want't that into me. hee!